Replace Long Phrases with Shorter Ones
Lesson 12 of 20 Thesis Editing Tips
From the Examiner’s Desk
“I frequently examine theses in which years of excellent research are obscured by weak writing.”
Many writing guides focus on grammar.
This lesson focuses on readability.
Its purpose is to help readers understand your ideas more quickly and with less effort.
As a PhD examiner and thesis editor, I often find that a thesis can be improved dramatically without changing a single idea.
The secret is simple.
Replace long phrases with shorter, clearer alternatives.
Many students believe that longer expressions sound more formal or academic.
In reality, they usually make writing slower, heavier and more difficult to read.
Good academic writing values precision, not unnecessary complexity.
Why Long Phrases Weaken Writing
Long phrases force readers to process more words than necessary before reaching the main point.
When this happens repeatedly throughout a thesis, reading becomes tiring and your argument loses impact.
Replacing wordy expressions with concise alternatives makes your writing:
• Easier to read.
• More direct.
• More professional.
• More persuasive.
The fewer words readers have to process, the more easily they understand your ideas.
Common Examples
Instead of writing:
❌ due to the fact that
write:
✅ because
❌ in order to
✅ to
❌ at this point in time
✅ now
❌ at the present moment
✅ now
❌ in the event that
✅ if
❌ on the basis that
✅ because
❌ taken into consideration
✅ considered
❌ in close proximity to
✅ near
❌ the majority of
✅ most
❌ a large number of
✅ many
Each revision reduces the number of words without changing the meaning.
Examples from Academic Writing
Example 1
❌ The experiment was repeated due to the fact that contamination occurred.
✅ The experiment was repeated because contamination occurred.
One word replaces five.
Example 2
❌ In order to determine the protein concentration, the samples were diluted.
✅ To determine the protein concentration, the samples were diluted.
The shorter version is both clearer and more natural.
Example 3
❌ At this point in time, further investigation is required.
✅ Further investigation is now required.
Or better still:
✅ Further investigation is required.
The simplest version is often the strongest.
Example 4
❌ The majority of participants completed the questionnaire.
✅ Most participants completed the questionnaire.
The revised sentence is shorter, clearer and easier to read.
💬 WhatsApp with Dr Anastasia Apostolides (reasonable hours)
Why Examiners Notice This
Examiners read hundreds of pages.
Repeated wordy phrases slow the reading process and make otherwise excellent research appear unnecessarily complicated.
Clear, concise writing allows your ideas to stand out.
It demonstrates confidence, precision and careful editing.
Practical Editing Strategies
During your final edit, search for phrases such as:
• due to the fact that
• in order to
• at this point in time
• in the event that
• the majority of
Ask yourself:
“Can I express this idea using fewer words?”
In many cases, replacing just one phrase on each page will noticeably improve the readability of your thesis.
Quick Editing Checklist
Before submitting your thesis, ask yourself:
✓ Have I replaced unnecessarily long phrases?
✓ Can I reduce the number of words without changing the meaning?
✓ Does every phrase contribute something useful?
✓ Is my writing direct and concise?
✓ Would a simpler expression communicate the same idea?
Key Takeaway
Academic writing is not judged by how many words you use.
It is judged by how effectively you communicate your ideas.
Replacing long phrases with shorter alternatives makes your writing clearer, more confident and easier to read.
Every unnecessary word you remove allows your research to speak more clearly.
Need Professional Thesis Editing?
If you would like an experienced PhD examiner to review your thesis before submission, I’d be happy to help.
Whether you need a complete thesis edit, advice on improving clarity or feedback on a proposal, feel free to get in touch.
Dr Anastasia Apostolides
PhD Examiner • Thesis Editor • Proposal & Academic Consultant
Helping Master’s, MBA, DBA and PhD students write with clarity and confidence.
💬 WhatsApp with Dr Anastasia Apostolides (reasonable hours)
📧 Email: info@uedit.org
📍 uedit.org
Continue Learning
This article is part of the 20 Thesis Editing Tips series.
Continue to the next lesson or explore the complete collection of free thesis resources to strengthen every stage of your academic writing.